


The Things Zack Taylor Is No Longer Allowed To Do In The Power Rangers Corps

by PinkRangerV



Category: Mighty Morphin Power Rangers
Genre: Crack, Gen, Skippy's List
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-18
Updated: 2014-11-18
Packaged: 2018-02-26 03:20:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2636120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkRangerV/pseuds/PinkRangerV
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zack finds Skippy's List, picks the funniest, and starts emulating. Oh dear. Oneshot, crackfic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Things Zack Taylor Is No Longer Allowed To Do In The Power Rangers Corps

**Author's Note:**

> I left out any that didn't fit or weren't disturbing, but I put up a T rating because, well...it's Zack. Enjoy.
> 
> Whoops, almost forgot: All credit for the original list goes to Specialist Schwarz at http://skippyslist.com/list/. Beware: His is rated M.

  1. _My proper military title is “Specialist Schwarz” not “Princess Anastasia”._




“Yellow, checking in.”

“Princess Anastasia, checking in.”

“Pink here and—what?”

“ _Zaaaack_...”

 

  1. _Not allowed to purchase anyone’s soul on government time._




“Hey, Tommy, I've got a deal for you...”

 

  1. _May no longer perform my now (in)famous “Barbie Girl Dance” while on duty._




“ _Aaaaahhh_ _ZACK WHAT THE HELL IS THAT_?”

“I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world!”

“STOP DOING THAT!”

 

  1. _Not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions._




“Zack. That is a sock puppet.”

“IT WASN'T MY FAULT, JASON! MR. TINKLES DID IT! _MR. TINKLES_!”

 

  1. _Not allowed to ask for the day off due to religious purposes, on the basis that the world is going to end, more than once._




“Wasn't the end of the world _last_ week, Mr. Taylor?”

“Well, yeah, but...”

“The paper is due tomorrow.”

“IT'S THE END TIMES, I TELL YOU!”

 

  1. “ _Keep on Trucking” is *not* a psychological warfare message._




“I know if I ask how you managed to get a stereo this big or a recording studio to make a ten-hour loop of this I'm not going to get an answer I like, but at least tell me what the heck that _means_?”

 

  1. _It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission, no longer applies to Specialist Schwarz._




“Zack, we found the list. We need to--”

“KEEP ON TRUCKING KEEP ON TRUCKING KEEP ON TRUCKING!”

“ _Zack_!”

 

  1. _Woad is not camouflage makeup._




“Okay, if we hit the monster here we should—Zack, it's too early in the morning for this.”

 

  1. _I am neither the king nor queen of cheese._




“Zack! My parents thought _I_ had been stealing the processed cheese food!”

 

  1. _If the thought of something makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it._




“I'm banning you from something. I think you know what.”

“Awww, _Jaaaase_...”

 

  1. _Crucifixes do not ward off officers, and I should not test that._




“Zack, _I already told you_ \--”

“But I didn't giggle!”

 

_104\. Vodka, green food coloring, and a “Cool Mint” Listerine® bottle is not a good combination. _

“WHEN I FIND YOU YOU'LL _WISH_ RITA WAS WINNING!”

 

_128\. “Shpadoinkle” is not a real word. _

“Zack, I'm, like, the last person to complain about slang. But if I hear that word _one more time_...”

 

_132\. The loudspeaker system is not a forum to voice my ideas. _

“...and on that note, I would like to mourn the anniversary of my goldfish's death. Poor Shpadoinkle. We will all miss him greatly. On to the weather...”

 

_151\. The proper way to report to my Commander is “Specialist Schwarz, reporting as ordered, Sir” not “You can’t prove a thing!” _

“Tommy, you are my bro. We are cool. _I swear if you and Zack ever double-team me again I am going to hurt whichever one of you runs slowest, and Zack is on the track team_.”

 

_197\. I am not allowed to sing “Henry the VIII I am” until verse 68 ever again. _

“Did Rita put you up to this? Hunh?”

“Kim--”

“Jason, we were locked in a box for FOUR HOURS. And he _DID NOT STOP SINGING_!”

 

finis.

 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The Samurai Code, or: Things Mike is No Longer Allowed (or anyone else for that matter)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2638025) by [Hagar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hagar/pseuds/Hagar), [LoveChilde](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoveChilde/pseuds/LoveChilde)




End file.
